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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Was there a Jesus? Of course.

Jewish priests have a habit of keeping track of births, deaths, important events.

It's pretty clear there was an ancient rockstar who liked whores, travelled around with his "crew", and performed for groups of hippies who would come from miles around to see him, until the local feds busted him for some infraction or another so he could be made an example of to all his rebellious fans who weren't singing while they slaved.

Whether or not his name was "jesus" and not "ben" or "joe" is a matter of debate.

Afterwards, like 50+ years later some senile old farts tried to remember what that cool dude said way back when. But they were yuppies now, converted to willing slaves by da man, and anyways, they were so high when they were at that jesus gig that they didn't really pay that much attention beyond the "hey let's everybody love everybody" schtick. Which was pretty cool really, there were lots of hot chicks at every jesus gig. But man they were soooo high.


anyways.

After the pigs beat him to death, the old timer priests he was bitching about all along commissioned some people to write about him, properly domesticated former hippies, and then tacked on that wad of jewish history they'd been shoving down peoples throats for for centuries previously.

Anything too radical was of course left out by the writers working from memory of an event 5 decades previous. You can only rock the boat so much before you are tossed in the drink, as that whole nailed to the cross thing illustrated so well to everyone.

(the old testament has NOTHING to do with Jesus, it is the very thing he was fighting against during his whole speaking tour)


IMHO

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